This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize