I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
