her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
