I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
