We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
