All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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