gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
