You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
