We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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