When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
