I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
