I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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