when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
as a side note pls kill me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
