One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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