Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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