How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When did angry sex become our thing?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
