shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
try to milk me bitch
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
