I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
