This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
