By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
