My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
