His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
