I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
