life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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