Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
