You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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