VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize