Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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