One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
