Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
