I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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