Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
