I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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