When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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