That's when you crack a 10am beer
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
