"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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