I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
