More tranny stories later!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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