If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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