Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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