So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
