i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
