I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
