The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
