need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
