saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
