i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize