the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
