She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
