Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
