hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
