You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
