Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
