And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
