Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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