Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
