If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
