Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
