What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
