do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
